Kinder

Last weekend, in the midst of a rainstorm, I dropped my phone in the lake. I had purposely bought a water resistant phone because I tend to be outside quite a bit, in all kinds of weather. And we spend as much of our free time as possible cruising the lake in our boat, exploring every nook and cranny of our lake. The phone salesman made sure to explain that if the tab that covers the charging port was damaged the phone would no longer be water proof. Said tab broke off about 6 weeks ago, and while I kept meaning to repair it, I never did.

My phone is still safely tucked in a canister of rice and it's fate remains unknown. Whatever happens, it's sure to cost me money that I really don't want to spend. So for now I am using my old phone which wouldn't be so bad, except that I am missing the camera on my damaged phone. It had a great camera in it and I had gotten good at manipulating it to capture some pretty special shots. Thankfully, the photos were stored on the phone's SD card and I should be able to retrieve them. I'm more disappointed that, for now, I have to use my crappy old iPhone camera. It's peak wildflower season and that is one of my favourite hobbies. I love searching for them, photographing them and finally identifying them. Certainly I'll continue, but was really enjoying learning how to photograph them differently with the extra features available.

Perhaps worst of all is how disappointed I am in myself. Not only did I fail to repair it, I also failed to properly stow my phone when standing in ankle deep water. I am my own worst critic and immediately I was upset with myself. We try to live as frugally as possible and this will be an expensive screw up. It makes me feel sour inside. And I still hadn't told my husband, whose inevitable displeasure would make me feel worse than I already did. He only brought up the five dollar part that should have prevented this and let the issue rest.

I'm trying to be kinder to myself so when I hear my inner critic start to chastise me, I cut her off. Everyone makes mistakes and we aren't destitute. It's hard work silencing that part of me, it's been a constant my whole life.  But this is the new me and I am better than that and I am going to be happy- water logged phone be damned! So this long weekend I will be certain to spend plenty of time traipsing through the woods with my dog and my shitty camera!