It's been a trying time lately. I have been working hard to keep my mind calm and centred, but it has been a challenge. I surround myself with positive affirmations and focus on the lessons that life is teaching me. I concentrate on my breathing and talk myself through the toughest times. And still I struggle. But I'm making it.
It has been a classic scenario of one step forward and two steps back this last little while. I spent most of my life 'waiting for the other shoe to drop' and seeing that scenario play out time and again. That was the old me, the one who allowed her thoughts and fears to control her mind. The new me is a person who is striving everyday to have faith in the universe and stand firm in a belief that good things will happen (at least that is what I tell myself). So it's particularly frustrating and irksome to finally see progress towards life goals, only to have a major crisis appear.
I know my faith is being tested and it takes most of my energy to maintain my positive attitude. At night I crash, exhausted from training my monkey mind.
I know my husband feels the stress too. And we do our best to prop each other up and force a smile when a tear might be more appropriate. We have travelled this life together for ten years and have been each others' support when the walls begin to crumble. Sometimes all we have as a defence against the world is a big bear hug. And sometimes that is all we need.
I remind myself every day that "All is well in the world and all is well with me." But keep those bear hugs coming.