Thursday, July 07, 2016

Rise up

Oh what an emotional day I've had today. 
A rare day off in the middle of the week, we've been slow at work and each of us is taking extra time off - spreading the poverty, so to speak. Oh the 'perks' of working for mom and pop businesses! I slept in a bit (if 6:45 is sleeping in) and then got up to feed the girls and have some tea. I turned on CBC and my phone to hear the news and check in with the world. By 7am I had seen an innocent man die and I was gutted. Full sobs for someone I will never know, someone whose life was cut short due to fear and distrust. Simply heartbreaking, made worse that it occurred in my adopted home state of Minnesota.

It set the mood for the day. A day full of household chores and, sadly, another broken phone incident. Once again I dropped my phone and this time broke the camera. Let me tell you, I feel like I am cursed with this phone! In the year I've had it, it's had 3 major injuries - all of them due to my own clumsiness.  I am struggling to see what lesson there is to be learned from this experience. All three accidents occurred when I was in a rush or preoccupied by something else. I'm going to have to take more time and be more present in the moment, to pay attention to the now. But of course my initial reaction was to lay blame on myself, which resulted in more tears. And of course by the time my hubby came home from work I was in a state of disrepair as well.

My husband, the wise sage that he is, told me to relax. He tried to console me, "I know you like to take a lot of pictures, but it's just a broken camera." He didn't understand that that was the exact reason I was upset. I laid on the bed for a while, trying to calm down. Georgie hopped up on the bed to lick my tears and hubby called from the kitchen to come have a drink and sit outside with him. So I did. The sun came out after a grey day and it soothed my rough patches.

We came in to watch the news but all of it was bad and soon I was crying again. I don't know how much more senseless violence I can stomach. A friend tried to tell me that an uprising is coming and I responded I wasn't emotionally strong enough for an uprising. It hurts my heart to see how far we have fallen. So many lives seem to be ruled by fear, they can't imagine that we are all brothers and sisters. All isn't lost, there are pockets of people who care deeply about all of us. I am proud to be among them.

I think I need to go and get some rest, so I can be ready for tomorrow. There's an uprising coming...

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