They say that the lesson we need to be learning is right in front of us. Something has been circling me and I know the lesson is there, but I can't seem to learn it. It's been an ongoing problem, one I struggle with just about everyday. It's draining. I love my job, I love my bosses, it's a great gig. Except for one thing.
There are twelve employees at my work place and ten of us are women. We range in age from 19 to mid - seventies, an eclectic mix. For all our differences, one stands out the loudest to me. It's a phrase I hear every day from at least one of them, "I can't".
It comes up again and again, about the simplest things. I can't do that. I can't use that.
An arbitrary "I can't".
An unwillingness to learn, or to even try.
And worse than the "I can't"s is the "I won't"s. The bitter refusal of the smallest requests.
But here's the rub, I know that I used to be that person! I see my old self in them so clearly, but now I am here in a different mindset. I've come a long way. I try to be patient. I've even tried some pep talks - they were ill received, by the way. So what can I do? I try to stay above the fray. It's hard, sometimes I get sucked down into their crab pot, but for the most part I try to model by example. I've been there, I've felt that blind anger and frustration. I don't know what will awaken them.
The other night my husband and I were watching The Last Waltz and these lyrics really resonated with me...
"Standing next to me in this lonely crowd
Is a man who swears he’s not to blame
All day long I hear him shout so loud
Crying out that he was framed.
I see my light come shining
From the west unto the east
Any day now, any day now
I shall be released."