Thursday, July 19, 2012

Keep on Rockin'

It's funny how music can bring you back to a particle moment in time. Today, for the first time in probably 5 years, I heard the song "Anchorage" by Michelle Shocked and it immediately brought me to tears. Later, out in the yard, the lyrics kept running through my head. I closed my eyes and felt the breeze and the hot sun on my face and - bam! - there I was, a brokenhearted, 27 year old crying for lost love. All of the emotions came flooding back and felt so real. The pain almost enough to break my heart all over again.

And then the phone rings and I am jolted back to the NOW. The 27 year old slips back behind the blinds and waits for her next chance to humble me. To remind me to not get too complacent in the life I have created. How did that young woman become me? What a journey she has been on and what a transformation has occurred. Of course that young woman has always been there, under the layers, but to have her rush out like she did was a shock. Pretty amazing stuff.

Music has been a safe place for me to land when things are rough. Letting someone else's lyrics cry out my pain and sadness has played an important part in healing my wounded psyche. I am tied to some songs and there are times I may turn away because the emotions are just too raw.  On a day like today, it was a joy to re-embrace the woman I was and be happy for the one I am becoming.

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